nameless

shedidntcarehow:

it started good then soon became horrible..i ended up crying…  over something.. idk if it was worth it.. lets see.. i have this “friend” dont know if i can call her that. and she kept readin my texts to erik.. (from the night before to the morning while i was in the shower.) so i decided why not read her texts to him.. its only fair if she insists on reading mine. When i was done, i hated what i saw.. She asked him to do her. and told him she was going to kiss him… gosh…  wat a friend right.. and she KNEW i liked him.. NEVER told me she liked him.. though he did tell me and also stated that he didnt understand why cuz she barely knew him… anyway back to before.. i felt so betrayed.. even though he never really answered her and hardly texted her back.. he kept asking why and said we’ll see. never gave a straight forward answer.. this hurts though.. she betrayed my trust for the 2nd time when it came to someone i liked… friends arent suppose to act like they dont like someone the way u like the same person and then go behind u back and try to get them to fuck them and kiss them… try to hold their hand right in front of u.. im glad erik wouldnt let her too.. after i read all the text messages.. i wanted to cry but i didnt i just pretended like nothing was wrong  but as i was getting ready.. i couldnt pretend anymore.. i almost cried… right when i was doing my hair but i went out side.. tried to cheer myself up with the puppy… i couldnt find him.. so i  went to sit down.. then i just started crying.. i felt so betrayed… she didnt see me cry.. glad too.. i didnt plan on telling her what i did but i did anyway.. idk why.. i was going to keep it all to myself.. not tell anyone.. that didnt work out.. when i was upset.. i told erik ” i dont want to be here anymore…” he asked me what happened i told him. event though i felt like i shouldn’t be upset cuz me and him werent in a relationship.. friends dont do that and that is mostly why i got so upset.. AND i LIKE him.. alot..  im trying to stop myself from liking him too much cuz.. im afraid of what might happen but yea.. she KNEW  i liked him. YET she thinks its okay to ask him to fuck her behind my back… ahh.. back to before.. sorry i keep going on abt it.. but when we were at the mall i told him and dennis.. and i showed hunter the text i sent.. and she left me and hunter while we were in b&bw so we were like ok then and went off to do our own thing.. anyway.. hours past and then hunter had to go.. i ask where she is she tells me that SHE was crying in the bath room.. cuz of what happened.. honestly.. i wish i could just say she has no right to be upset but.. i cant and i guess she does.. which i hate.. i want to be selfish and think about how she hurt me and not think about how she feels… T.T but ya she sent me a shit load of text telling me why she was upset (the whole situation basically ) and i think she also sent me what she said to him  saying she wasnt going to talk to him and how happy i get when i see him and something abt freedom and how she cant have it.. idk.. i didnt want to bother him with all this but i did… kinda wish i didnt.. but i trust him more so im willing to tell him this.. ima stop now.. if i dont i will go on forever.. but today ended pretty great cuz i saw alexus and we made plans to do stuff in the future soo.. great oh and i might try to work at wall- mart